He Said What? Hate Your Family
Pastor Tim's sermon series, "He Said What?", explores controversial teachings of Jesus, specifically focusing on the command to "hate" one's family and even one's own life to be a disciple. He clarifies that this "hatred" is a comparative term, illustrating that love for Jesus should so overwhelmingly surpass all other loves that they appear as hatred in comparison. The sermon emphasizes that discipleship requires radical commitment, akin to counting the cost before building a tower or going to war, and that followers must truly "give up everything" by continually "putting the self to death." This death, however, is presented not as an end, but as a path to new life and a deeper capacity to love others, aligning with the spiritual growth demonstrated by Jesus's resurrection. Ultimately, the message asserts that prioritizing love for Jesus above all else leads to becoming the person one was designed to be and fosters a more profound love for others.
Deep Dive Podcast
A Deep Dive into Discipleship: Examining the Controversial Teachings of Jesus
Study Guide
This study guide is designed to help you review and deepen your understanding of Pastor Tim's sermon on the controversial teachings of Jesus, specifically focusing on the command to "hate" family and self.
I. Sermon Overview and Context
Sermon Series Title: "He Said What?" – Highlights the controversial nature of Jesus's teachings.
Previous Topics: Loving your enemy, cutting off your hand/plucking out your eye (to eliminate sin), Jesus saying it's better he goes away, and "eat my flesh."
Today's Topic: Jesus's command to "hate people," specifically family and self (Luke 14:25-33).
Biblical Context (Luke 14): Jesus has been teaching about the Sabbath, loving others (especially those who cannot repay), seeking honor, and being too busy to engage with him. Large crowds were following him.
Jesus's Standard Protocol as a Rabbi: He would travel, stop, teach, and often challenge people's motives, pushing them to introspection.
The Deeper Truth: Jesus provided a miraculous meal but also challenged people to seek something that truly sustains the soul, not just physical bread, emphasizing his identity as the Messiah.
Internal vs. External: Jesus consistently emphasizes the importance of internal heart and soul motives over external actions. He criticized the Pharisees for external righteousness without internal devotion.
II. The Core Controversial Command (Luke 14:25-27)
The Command: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
Initial Tension: This command directly conflicts with other biblical teachings:
Ten Commandments: "Honor your father and mother" (Exodus 20:12), which has a promise attached.
Greatest Commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" and "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:37-39).
Loving Enemies: Jesus also commands love for enemies.
III. Understanding "Discipleship"
Biblical Definition: A student, learner, or follower of a particular teacher.
Cultural Context (Jesus's Time): More than just liking someone's teaching; it involved literally walking with, staying with, and learning all aspects of the teacher's life and way.
Phrase "Dusty in the feet of your Rabbi": Illustrates extreme closeness and commitment, where a disciple follows so closely that the dust kicked up by the rabbi falls on them.
Modern Analogy (Pastor Tim's Examples):Dave Ripper (disciple of Dallas Willard)
Dave Canterbury (survival expert, Pastor Tim as a "disciple")
Core of Discipleship to Jesus: Deep heart and soul commitment to his life, living like him, being shaped into his character, and aligning with his mission.
IV. Reconciling the "Hate" Command: Reframing the Question
"Refine the Question": Pastor Tim uses Dr. Michelle Dillon's advice: "It depends on what you mean by that."
"Hate" as a Sign of Comparison: The term "hate" in this context is not literal animosity but rather a stark comparison. When one's love for Jesus is so overwhelming and absolute, any other love (for family, self) appears as "hatred" in comparison due to the vast contrast.
Two Different Lists, Not a Hierarchy: Jesus is not at the top of a list of loves; rather, there is one list with only Jesus's name, and a totally separate list for everyone and everything else.
Challenge to Introspection: Does your love for Jesus look so significantly greater than your love for your parents, spouse, children, siblings, and even yourself, that the latter appears as hatred by comparison?
V. The Cost of Discipleship (Luke 14:28-33)
The Parables:Building a Tower: Estimate the cost before starting, or face ridicule for not finishing.
King Going to War: Consider if you have enough men (10,000 vs. 20,000) or seek terms of peace.
The Meaning of the Parables: Jesus is challenging listeners to "consider the cost" before entering into a discipleship relationship with him.
"Give Up Everything You Have": Verse 33 is crucial. It's not about being willing to give up everything, but actively giving up everything. This isn't a future possibility; it's a present requirement.
The Hardest "Hate": Hating Oneself:We naturally love ourselves, our dreams, and how others' actions affect us.
Jesus calls us to love him more than our own selves, putting self-interest to death.
VI. Carrying the Cross: Putting Self to Death
Meaning of "Carry the Cross":In Roman culture, the cross was a torture and execution device, a symbol of death.
It represents a daily commitment to put the "old self" to death, crucifying self-will and self-love.
Metaphor of the Electric Chair: Carrying the cross is like "wheeling around the electric chair everywhere I go," signifying a readiness to continually put self to death for the sake of loving Jesus more.
The "Living Sacrifice" Problem: We are prone to "crawling off the altar" – putting self to death, but then reverting to old ways and self-centeredness. This is an ongoing process.
Beauty in Death Leads to New Life: Jesus's model (crucifixion and resurrection) shows that spiritual death leads to new life. When we spiritually put parts of ourselves to death, a new, true self can emerge.
Grain of Wheat Analogy: "Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, you can't get a new plant." Spiritual death brings multiplication and new life.
Trust in the Messiah: This radical call to "hate" (by comparison) and put self to death is an act of deep trust that Jesus, as Savior, knows what is good for us and will lead us to become the person we were designed to be.
Upside-Down Kingdom Principle: Paradoxically, by loving Jesus above all else, we are actually enabled to love others (family, friends) better. Putting them in "second place" to Jesus allows for a purer, more empowered love.
Quiz: Short Answer Questions
Answer each question in 2-3 sentences.
What is the central controversial teaching of Jesus that Pastor Tim addresses in this sermon?
How does Jesus's command to "hate" family members initially create tension with other well-known biblical teachings?
In the context of ancient Jewish culture, what did it mean to be a "disciple," beyond simply liking someone's teachings?
How does Pastor Tim suggest we interpret Jesus's command to "hate" our family and even our own life, to resolve the apparent contradiction?
According to Pastor Tim, what does the phrase "dusty in the feet of your rabbi" symbolize in the context of discipleship?
Explain the significance of Jesus's parables about building a tower and a king going to war in relation to discipleship.
What crucial distinction does Pastor Tim make when discussing Luke 14:33, regarding giving up everything to be Jesus's disciple?
Why is "hating one's very self" described as the hardest part of Jesus's command?
What is the deeper meaning behind Jesus's instruction to "carry the cross" daily?
Pastor Tim concludes by stating that when we put Jesus first, we actually love others better. Briefly explain the reasoning behind this "upside-down kingdom thing."
Answer Key (Quiz)
What is the central controversial teaching of Jesus that Pastor Tim addresses in this sermon? The central controversial teaching is Jesus's command in Luke 14:26 that anyone who comes to him and does not "hate" their father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, and even their own life, cannot be his disciple. This statement challenges conventional understanding of love and commitment.
How does Jesus's command to "hate" family members initially create tension with other well-known biblical teachings? This command creates tension because it directly contradicts the Ten Commandments (honor father and mother), the Greatest Commandment (love your neighbor as yourself), and Jesus's own teaching to love your enemies. These previous teachings emphasize love and honor, making "hate" seem out of place.
In the context of ancient Jewish culture, what did it mean to be a "disciple," beyond simply liking someone's teachings? In Jesus's time, being a disciple meant a deep, all-encompassing commitment. It involved literally walking with, staying with, and imitating every aspect of a teacher's life and way, not just intellectually agreeing with their teachings.
How does Pastor Tim suggest we interpret Jesus's command to "hate" our family and even our own life, to resolve the apparent contradiction? Pastor Tim explains that "hate" in this context signifies a radical comparison, not literal animosity. When one's love for Jesus is so overwhelming and absolute, all other loves, by contrast, appear as hatred due to the vast difference in intensity and priority.
According to Pastor Tim, what does the phrase "dusting the feet of your rabbi" symbolize in the context of discipleship? The phrase "dusting the feet of your rabbi" symbolizes extreme closeness and unwavering devotion in discipleship. It illustrates a disciple following so intimately behind their teacher that the dust kicked up by the rabbi's feet falls upon them, signifying total immersion in their teacher's life and teachings.
Explain the significance of Jesus's parables about building a tower and a king going to war in relation to discipleship. These parables emphasize the importance of "counting the cost" before committing to discipleship. Jesus uses them to challenge potential followers to realistically assess the demands of following him, ensuring they are prepared for the complete commitment required and won't abandon it midway.
What crucial distinction does Pastor Tim make when discussing Luke 14:33, regarding giving up everything to be Jesus's disciple? Pastor Tim highlights that the verse does not say disciples must be willing to give up everything, but that they do not give up everything cannot be his disciples. This means it's not a potential future sacrifice, but an active, present surrender of all possessions and self-interest.
Why is "hating one's very self" described as the hardest part of Jesus's command? "Hating one's very self" is the hardest because human nature is inherently self-loving, prioritizing personal dreams, desires, and comfort. Overcoming this deep-seated self-love to put Jesus first requires a constant, conscious effort to deny one's own ego and ambitions.
What is the deeper meaning behind Jesus's instruction to "carry the cross" daily? Carrying the cross daily means continually putting the "old self" to death, crucifying self-will and selfish desires. It symbolizes a constant readiness for spiritual sacrifice, acknowledging that parts of us must die repeatedly so that the new, Christ-like self can truly live.
Pastor Tim concludes by stating that when we put Jesus first, we actually love others better. Briefly explain the reasoning behind this "upside-down kingdom thing." This is an "upside-down kingdom thing" because by prioritizing Jesus above all others, including family, one receives empowerment and guidance from him. This divine influence transforms one's capacity to love, enabling them to offer a purer, more selfless, and ultimately more effective love to family and friends than they could on their own.
Essay Format Questions (No Answers Supplied)
Analyze how Pastor Tim uses the concept of "refining the question" to interpret Jesus's controversial command to "hate" one's family and self. Discuss the effectiveness of this interpretive approach in resolving biblical tension.
Compare and contrast the ancient cultural understanding of a "disciple" with modern interpretations, drawing on Pastor Tim's examples (e.g., Dallas Willard, Dave Canterbury). How does understanding the historical context deepen the meaning of Jesus's call to discipleship?
Discuss the significance of the parables of the tower builder and the warring king in Luke 14 in the context of the "cost of discipleship." How do these parables reinforce Jesus's radical demands on his followers, and what implications do they have for commitment?
Explore the tension between Jesus's command to "hate" family/self and other biblical injunctions to love and honor. How does Pastor Tim's sermon reconcile these apparent contradictions, and what theological implications arise from his explanation of "hate as comparison"?
Examine the metaphor of "carrying the cross" and the concept of the "living sacrifice that keeps crawling off the altar." How do these ideas illustrate the ongoing, daily struggle of putting the "self to death" in Christian discipleship, and what ultimate promise does Jesus offer in this process?
Glossary of Key Terms
Controversial Teachings: Statements or commands by Jesus that challenge conventional understanding, societal norms, or other biblical interpretations, prompting questions and discussion.
Disciple: A student, learner, or follower of a particular teacher. In biblical context, it implies a deep commitment to the teacher's way of life, teachings, and mission.
Context is King: A principle in biblical interpretation stating that understanding the historical, cultural, and literary setting of a text is crucial for accurate comprehension.
Introspection: The examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes; in this sermon, it refers to Jesus prompting followers to evaluate their inner motives.
Internal vs. External: A distinction made by Jesus between outward actions or appearances (external) and the true motivations of the heart and soul (internal), with the latter being more important to God.
Pharisees: A prominent Jewish religious and political party in Jesus's time, often criticized by Jesus for their external observance of the law while their hearts were far from God.
"Hate" (Biblical Context): In the context of Luke 14:26, it is interpreted not as literal animosity but as a term of radical comparison, signifying a love for Jesus so overwhelming that all other loves appear negligible or as "hatred" by contrast.
Ten Commandments: A set of ethical principles and laws revealed by God to Moses, serving as a moral foundation, including "Honor your father and mother."
Greatest Commandment: Jesus's summary of the Law, commanding followers to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength," and to "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Cost of Discipleship: The sacrifices, challenges, and demands (e.g., giving up possessions, family ties, self-interest) that Jesus requires of those who choose to follow him.
"Give Up Everything You Have": A literal command from Jesus (Luke 14:33) implying not just a willingness to sacrifice, but an active surrender of all possessions and attachments as a condition of discipleship.
Carrying the Cross: A metaphor for a disciple's daily commitment to deny self, put one's own desires and will to death, and embrace suffering or sacrifice for the sake of following Jesus. In Roman times, it literally referred to carrying an instrument of execution.
Putting Self to Death: The spiritual act of crucifying one's selfish nature, ego, and desires, allowing the new, Christ-like self to live and grow.
Living Sacrifice: A concept from Romans 12:1, referring to offering one's entire life to God, a sacrifice that is continuous and active, rather than a one-time event. The sermon highlights the challenge of this sacrifice "crawling off the altar."
Resurrection: The act of rising from the dead, specifically Jesus's bodily resurrection, which serves as the model and promise that spiritual death (of self) can lead to new and abundant life.
Grain of Wheat Analogy: An illustration (John 12:24) used by Jesus to explain that death (like a seed dying in the ground) is necessary to bring forth much new life or fruit.
Upside-Down Kingdom: A concept describing the paradoxical nature of God's kingdom, where conventional values are inverted (e.g., the last shall be first, giving leads to receiving, dying leads to life, putting Jesus first leads to better love for others).
